If You'll Be My Lifeboat

( About Me )

Yay! There are more crack commercials featuring players from the San Jose Sharks, highlighting that while they're good hockey players, they suck at other things. So please, follow the cut and enjoy more of the crack.

( Crack! )

Well, it's been an interesting few weeks.

Two weeks ago, my Dad called, sniffling, crying. My Dad doesn't cry often. It turns out my Mom's dog, Sweetness (who was only a year old) ran out on the road and died. My Dad was crying, my Mom was crying, it was sucky all around.

But my Mom then got a rescue dog named Matilda, but my Mom renamed her Sweetie? Noticing a theme? Not yet? Well, we used to have goats. One was named Love, the other Sweetestheart.

Yeah, whatever.

In other news, Halloween happened. I spent Halloween at my friend Anna's house (she's the coworker I adopted because despite how different we are, we get on well, and because it makes me an Auntie).

I was a bad witch, and she was a good witch (though it was only denoted through the use of black and white clothing).



 Anywhoo, in work news, my boss called me into a meeting, which I knew would be one of those performance review type things.  I was in the middle of something, so my hands were shaking as I finished my assignment.  Anyways, it was quick, and he told me I was off of probation and that everything was pleased with my work.  I've made a few mistakes in the past few months, but none of that was mentioned, just that everyone had noticed my improved attitude and work ethic, which was cool.  But I did take the chance to address some of my mistakes and mention I'd learned from them, just as a sort of preemptive strike for my end of year preformance evaluation. 

But yeah, things is good.

Love to all you all!

Title: The End of a Fixed Point
Author: batmanvinnie aka vinniebatman
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Jack/OFC, Jack/ULOJS, Gwen/Rhys, Tosh/Owen
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Spoilers: For all of Torchwood, including "Children of Earth."
Disclaimer: I so totally own these shows. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership toward "Doctor Who" or "Torchwood" are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
Betas: Thanks to kitty_poker1 for the character and canon check, and _beetle_ for the grammar and phrasing help.
Author's Note: Written for the birthday of my dear, wonderful, awesome friend, suki_blue. I love you!

* * * * * * * * * *
( The End Begins Here )

Title: Enterprise Dog Park
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Pairings: None, really. Though there are references forMcCoy/Chekov (McChekov? Chekoy? McChek? McCov?)
Rating/Warnings: Teen for references to animal abuse. And for the fact that this is a total crack AU where they’re almost all dogs.
Summary: “Leonard may have been a stupidnogoodbad dog, but he understood what the other dogs didn't.?
Spoilers: None aside from character traits.
Disclaimer: I so totally own these works. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership toward Star Trek are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
Dedication: This is written for my darling _beetle_. I love you dear!!!!
Beta: *is embarrassed* _beetle_ Yep, she beta’d a fic I wrote for her. But in my defense, I wasn’t actually going to post it. But she liked it, so I sort just agreed.

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( Story Here )

So, my husband is all about the San Jose Sharks, and the local sports network shows almost all of their games, so some of the Sharks do commercials. They're pretty crack, but they amuse the fuck out of me. So I share with you.

The one features Joe Thornton. People tell me he's one of the best players in the NHL (a fact I have no frickin' clue about).



This one features the head coach, Todd McLellan.


And this one is the newest, featuring Joe Pavelski.

Title: Ice Cold
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: BtVS/Harry Potter
Pairings: For this one, Sam Winchester/Connor Reilly, hints of Dean Winchester/Illyria
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap the owners; they were threatened with hot poker torture, chainsaws, and an exorcism. I now own all. Thank you. *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership of either Supernatural or Angel the Series are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
A/N: Okay, so I read a couple of stories showing Sam in love with various other characters. But what if he'd fallen for them while in Stanford? How would that have changed the night of the demon's return?
Betas: anxiety_junkie and _beetle_.  Thanks a million, you two!
All parts are HERE</a> in my memories

* * * * * * * * * *
( Love Story Five Here )

Title: I Put a Spell on You
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: Supernatural/Harry Potter
Pairings: For this one, Sam Winchester/Hermione Granger
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap the owners; they were threatened with hot poker torture, chainsaws, and an exorcism. I now own all. Thank you. *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership of either Supernatural or Harry Potter are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
A/N: Okay, so I read a couple of stories showing Sam in love with various other characters. But what if he'd fallen for them while in Stanford? How would that have changed the night of the demon's return?
All parts are HERE in my memories

* * * * * * * * * *
( Love Story Four Here )

Title: Trembling Before God...desses
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: Supernatural/DC Comics
Pairings: For this one, Sam Winchester/Diana Prince
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap the owners; they were threatened with hot poker torture, chainsaws, and an exorcism. I now own all. Thank you. *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership of either Supernatural or the DC works are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
A/N: Okay, so I read a couple of stories showing Sam in love with various other characters. But what if he'd fallen for them while in Stanford? How would that have changed the night of the demon's return?
All parts areHERE in my memories

* * * * * * * * * *
( Love Story Number Three )

Title: Fire and Ice
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: Supernatural/Smallville
Pairings: For this one, Sam Winchester/Clark Kent
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss and Kripke; they were threatened with hot poker torture, chainsaws, and an exorcism. I now own all. Thank you. *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership of either Supernatural or Smallville (and the creators of the characters therein) are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
A/N: Okay, so I read a couple of stories showing Sam in love with various other characters. But what if he'd fallen for them while in Stanford? How would that have changed the night of the demon's return?
All parts areHERE in my memories
* * * * * * * * * * *
( Love Story Two Here ) 

Title: Broken Glass
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: BtVS/SPN
Pairings: For this one, Sam Winchester/Dawn Summers
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss and Kripke; they were threatened with hot poker torture, chainsaws, and an exorcism. I now own all. Thank you. *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership of either Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
A/N: Okay, so I read a couple of stories showing Sam in love with various other characters. But what if he'd fallen for them while in Stanford? How would that have changed the night of the demon's return?

All parts areHERE in my memories
* * * * * * * * * * *
( Love Story One Here )

Why brain? 

Why do you wake at 3:30 in the morning?

WHY DO YOU HATE ME, BRAIN!

WHY MUST I MAINLINE COFFEE TODAY JUST TO SURVIVE?!

EDIT: Okay, so I'm at work and tired, but I'm happy. Robert, this really cool security guard who always smiles and says "hi" and makes my day has been out for several months due to health issues. But he's back! I got a hug and a big smile and I'm so happy he's doing better.

It's amazing the effect friends can have on a rotten day.

*looks at all of you*

Title: Botched Spell, Part 6/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here

Title: Botched Spell, Part 5/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here

Title: Botched Spell, Part 4/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here

Title: Botched Spell, Part 3/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here 

Title: Botched Spell, Part 2/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here

 

Title: Botched Spell, Part 1/6
Author’s: cinderella81 and vinniebatman.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!

All Parts Here

So, I don't rec fics. But I came across a fic that many of my f-listers might not stumble across, so I wanted to share.

If you like Supernatural, Leverage, or Torchwood, you might want to read this fic.

"How Ianto Jones Quits His Job and Decides to Take Over the World (Without the Help of a Kangaroo Army).

This crack of the highest caliber. The primary pairing is Dean/Ianto/Hardison, with references to Jack/Ianto, Dean/Castiel, and Parker/Hardison.

But the crack! Good Lord!

Warning: fic includes non-graphic references to sex, hacking, creating super-awesome fake I.D.'s, Dean's fear of Picasso, tea with whiskey, Sam being a geek, Dean trying to kill Jack, Ianto trying to kill Castiel, mockery of the Welsh, Parker giving her version of the "if you hurt him, I'll kill you" speech, and references to world conquest and kangaroo armies.

If you are intrigued by any of these fandoms, I suggest readings. It's cracky good times.

Title:  Always
Author:  vinniebatman
Rating: Teen?
Pairing:  Emily/Spencer
Summary:  Emily reflects on her relationship with Spencer.
Disclaimer:  I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap the creators and owners; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   Or not.    
Beta: The fabulous, incomparable beetle!  I love you! 
Author’s Note: Written for one of the sweetest people I know, serialbathera.  I heart you darling!!!

( Ruminations This Way! )