If You'll Be My Lifeboat

So, a couple months ago, I posted an entry that was linked to two different sets of images. One was a freaky-ass photographic depiction of childhood fears, and the other was a set of photographs depicting Disney princesses dealing with modern issues.

Well,this set of images is way freaking creepier and awesome...er. In a dark twisted sense.

They're a dark take on all of the traditional Disney princesses. And they're damn freaky.

So gogogo, look and be amazed and alarmed!

So, as you  may or may not know, Suki is my beta extrodiarre.  Unfortunately, she is CRAZYGONUTS busy right now, so I'm looking for another beta.  Specifically, for an upcoming spander story, a torchwood fic (which is a gift for Suki so she totally can't beta it),  a criminal minds fic, and then a story that I might not ever finish, but its an original mythology revision thing that I'd like to get some feedback on.

So, if you are interested, please let me know.  And I'll give you interwebs hugs.  And a cookie.  An e-cookie, but a cookie nonetheless.  Oh, and my undying devotion.

Thanks!

~Alice~

It's headlines like these that truly make my day. It makes me wonder if there are slashers working at the newspaper....

Waking up at 5:00 after not falling asleep until 1:00 is not cool.

That is all.

Title:  Revenge, Chapter 3
Author:  vinniebatman a.k.a. batmanvinnie a.k.a. Alice a.k.a. well, me
Rating: Mature because of sexy male slashy fun times.  So if you don’t like M/M smut, you’ve been warned!
Pairing:  Spike/Xander (mmm… Spander)
Summary:  Spike decides to get his revenge and plans.  Which we know never goes well..
Disclaimer:  I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   Or not.    
Beta: The fabulous, incomparable suki!  I love you!  Even if you constantly drag me into new fandoms. 
Teaser:   Pheromones rolled off of the boy and Spike's eyes flashed to gold.  Xander dropped his hands and jumped away as though burned.  He shoved his hands into his pockets.  His eyes darted room, bouncing from and landing one anything but Spike. 
Author’s Note 1: Takes place post-chip, only Xander and Anya never got together.  Also, I almost decided to go porn fre on the ending, but I went with my baser instincts and let it get all pornyful.
Author's Note: I am really, really, really freaking sorry that it took me THREE DAMN YEARS to finish this.  I dunno, I just suck like that, and then I was peer pressured into other fandoms and it just.... I'm sorry, and I hope you all forgive me for being horrible like that.  And a million thanks to everyone who kept reading and nudging along the way.
Previous Chapter Here!

************
( The Ending (and Porn) Are This Way! )</font></span></p>

Oye. Just oye. 

So, Suki and Kitty went to a screening of the season 2 premiere of "Merlin" in London.  After reading their descriptions (including Colin Morgan aka Merlin's reference to fans of the RPS) and seeing the pictures, I of course went to IMDB to *cough* read about them so I could appreciate their acting skills and poise.  Yeah, that's the ticket!

Anyhow, I've decided that I may like slash a bit too much, because everything I read goes through my mental Slashitron 2000 and seems deliciously dirty.

Case in point:  the first trivia fact shown on Colin Morgan's IMDB page is "He is a vegetarian."

My immediate response, without any forethought or pondering?

"Yeah, but he still eats meat."

I am a bad, dirty person.  But I can't find it in myself to be ashamed.  Just really amused and pleased.  Though I am blushing at my desk.

My mom and I got our tattoos, and SWEETFUCKINGMOTHEROFDANCINGNAKEDJESUS!

It hurt.  It really hurt, but I turned out nice and I likes it.



And that's pretty much all that's happening in my life.

I know, my life, it is, how you say, exciting.

Though my bosses did threaten to fire me.

But I don't wanna talk about that.

Oye.

EDIT: My bosses think I'm not doing well enough, that I should be perfect as a secretary, not still learning. So, shocking Anna, the lady that trained me, they gave me 90 days to get better or get fired.

Meh. It won't happen, but yeah, major downer.

...

I'm speechless.  I get Kripke refusing to have the show for for more than 5 seasons.  It's a good idea to have it all planned out so the show doesn't end up with two crappy final seasons.

But seriously, Paris Hilton?

That just... my soul... she cries.

Though there is this:

A source close to the show says, "The fans should trust [creator/producer] Eric Kripke."

I'll trust you, Kripke.  But don't let me down.

And keep her away from the boys.  She might... soil... them.

Link to blurb of DOOOOM here

Okay, so I was randomly reminded about an article I read in GQ that was as equally horrifying as it was fascinating.  It was about the reign of Pol Pot and Khmer Rouge, which, though brief, decimated the population Cambodia in brutal fashion.

Many know about what happened during this time, but I didn't, not really.  My knowledge was more cursory, having never heard of it.  All of my life, I've heard references to the Holocaust, to the horrors commit during World War II.  The Holocaust was often cited for it's cruelty, for the lack of humanity.  The later, there were the stories that came out of Rwanda in 1996.  But the genocide in Cambodia, my teachers never talked of it.  It was never mentioned in school.  I can't recall it every being brought up, as though the world was and is trying to forget.  I read this in one sitting and it occurred to me how little I really knew, aside from the cold numbers.  I'd heard vague mentions of it before, but I'd never done my own research, my own reading.  I'd never heard it mentioned aside from a single sentence of facts in random books.  It puzzles me, how little it was brought up in school.  It makes me curious as to why this chapter of human history is so overlooked and rarely mentioned.  I realized that part of it is due to the fact that I never looked into it, or tried to find out more details.

It's heartbreaking and the details of what was done are horrifying and nauseating, but it's very powerful.   The writer does wonderful work, and though this is gruesome and heartbreaking, it explores what happened, how it did, the prosecution of the members of the Khmer Rouge, and how modern day Cambodia is dealing with the issue (or, rather, how it is avoiding the issue).

I'm not preaching or lecturing; I just wanted to share what I though was intriguing, though the word does seem too small and delicate for the subject matter.  Again, it is heartbreaking, but very well written and filled with things that made me cry.   And while it was difficult to read, it was engrossing.  I don't know if any of you want to read it, but I wanted to link it.  

"Never Forget" by Michael Paterniti.

Wooooo!!!

*runs in circle*

I don't know if you know this, but there's a new show of the SyFy channel (previously SciFi and seriously, why the fuck did they change the name?!  I mean, honestly, that's just... stupid and lame!) called Warehouse 13, which is okay and kinda fun.  Anywho, Joe Flannigan will be on the next episode!

Weeee!

They were showing a teaser for next week, and I saw a dark head and hear the voice *squees and claps*

So if like me you miss seeing our darling John Shep- er, I mean, Joe, because John is fictional, be prepared to see Joe next Tuesday, August 4.

I'm so happy.

In unrelated Alice news, Jensen Ackles made an unscheduled appearance in my dreams last night.  He was clothed and there was not sexy fun, but still.  His prettyness made my night and day brighter.

Hot damn I loves me the caffine!  Oh, so beautiful.  I suspect  coffee is made of angel tears. 

Angel tears and crack.  Mmm... crack.

Yeah, I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm really jacked on caffine.  No sleep plus much caffine makes Alice something something.

But yay for free food. 

As a legal secretary, I, along with my fellow secretaries, frequently use one deposition service.  And we've used them quite a bit lately, so we've been getting tasty, FREE baked good.  Mini fancy quiches (that's right, fancier quiches than usual), pastries, and muffins.   Mmm... free.

I like free things, can you tell?

Also, I share things of awesomness. 

I had a good time at home and got nice and recharged.  My mom will be coming to the city some time this summer and for her birthday, we'll get tattoos together.  She's not 100% certain as to her design, but I've opted for two tattooos, one on each foot.  One will display kudzu ivy, while the other would have several orchid blossoms.  It's how I roll.  When I'm not sleeping.

In work related news, I posted an entry in March, in which I bitched about coworkers.  Senora gassy's last day is tomorrow (huzzah!) and the super dumb receptionist was fired, and the replacement is awesome and gets all my strange, weird, bizarre jokes.  He's a good kid.

Of interest, if you ever visit the website www.geekologie.com, the author occasionally displays images of interest.

I found these series of photos to be quite intriguing.

THIS set depicts classic Disney princesses in modern situations, though my personal favorites are Jasmine, Cinderella, and Rapunzel.

THIS set depict childhood fears.  Warning: these images are somewhat disturbing.  Also, very image heavy, may cause your computer to pause for a few seconds.

THIS is a BBC article about a lady who got in trouble for being too noisy during sex.  BBC, on one hand, I love you for posting this, but on the other, really?  There wasn't something more important to cover?

And THIS is a movie trailer for the film "Zombieland," which is a humorous look at what will happen after the zombie apocalypse.  Contains an old lady killing a zombie with a Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner gag, Woody Harrelson being Woody Harrelson, and people maintaining a semblance of decorum by using hand sanitizer after dispatching the undead.  It is a combination guaranteed to make me at least rent the film.  *nods*

Soooo... that's about it.  Peace out, my peeps.

So, I've actually been posting random crossovers on TtH, but not here.  Due to lazyness.

Ahh... laze, I do enjoy it.

Anywho, since noandwhere has been missing me, I've decided to go ahead a post my crossovers onto my journals. It will be several stories, but I hope you enjoy them.

EDIT:  I didn't realize how many little doo dads I'd posted, so instead of clogging up everyones friends lists, I'll backdate the stories, then link them to this entry.

My ongoing series will be posted separately.  Thus far, these are my completed stories.

"Prepare for DOOOM!!!"
An Invader Zim/BtVS crossover
Based on the wonderfully, delightfully twisted cartoon "Invader Zim," which was shown on Nickelodeon for 11 episodes before they realized that the wonderfully dark mind of Vasquez may not be child appropriate.  This story was the genesis of my later series, "Slayers that Never Were... Thank God."

Tripping Wizards
A HP/BtVS crossover
Cordeila Chase, Power that Is, decides that some heroes need someone on their side.  So she decides to take care of the heroes who get shafted, starting with Harry Potter.
Various pairings

Crossing Commercialism
Crossovers with commercials that annoy me.  Really, that's the only reason they're written.
-The Pretty Men with a Song in their Hearts
Drusilla meets up with the guys from the Freecredireport.com commercials.
-Oh Yeah?  Oh No!
While patrolling in Season 4,  Connor comes across a strange demon that looks like, well, a giant pitcher.

A Tiny Bucket of Crazy
BtVS/Leverage crossover.
Written for the Andy Hallet memorial challenge on Twisting the Hellmouth, this story features features Parker visiting Caritas.

Seeking Solace
BtVS/Reaper
After Sam learns that the Devil is his father, he contemplates destiny and evil.

Title: Stakeout
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: BtVS/DC Comics
Rating/Warnings: This one is teenishy for references to blowjobs.
Spoilers: Through all of BtVS and AtS (minus the comics), and just borrows Batman and Flash.
Disclaimer: I so totally own the Buffyverse and DCverse. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
Beta: Suki, who is my own personal jesus. And she can be my hero, baby.
Author's Notes: This is just a "hello, I give you this so you may smile" fic for Amejisuto. I actually started this with her in mind many many many years ago, but sorta forgot about it. bad me.

* * * * * * * * * *

I just read a very sad thing:  Bea Arthur, known from the shows "Maude" and "Golden Girls" has died at the age of 86.  I always loved her acerbic wit and adored her.  This sucks and I am le sad.

*cries*

So, I was reading one of kitty_poker's entries and was reminded of this article I read last week. 

The End of Christian America by Jon Meacham

It was a well-thought out, intelligent discussion on the way America is heading after the last 8 years, in terms of religion, and discusses some of the difficulties in separating church and state, and the way many Americans are now holding their politics apart from their beliefs.

Very thought provoking.

Okay, so I've been listening to Pandora Radio, because I play it at home and at work.

Anyways, the recommend and play things for you and if you don't like it, you can say, "screw you, music! Thumb down!" and it is gone.

But one things I've heard for the first time is a group called "Blackmore's Night."  Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple is one of the founding members.  They play Renaissance folk rock.  It is awesome in ways I can't fully express.  Seriously.

Also, I recently heard the song "Hey Ya" by Obadiah Parker, which was released some time ago.  If it sounds familiar, it's because it's the version Ted played at the Janitor's wedding in a recent episode of Scrubs.  It's awesome and I suggest a listen, being the epitome of what a cover should be: different than the original.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-8nkkOA_AM

I got a cake!

If you know much about me, you know my husband is a) a Russian, and b) acts very Russiany, meaning he's not that into gestures and emotions and ... stuff.

But on Wednesday when I went to be, there was nothing.  And when I got up, there were balloons, flowers and CAKE.

Did I mention cake?  With crack sugar frosting and lemon filling?

Ah, cake, how I love you... you give me the joy.  And bodily chub, but still, cake.

And since I haven't seen my Mom since X-mas, she's kinda going nuts for my birthday.  Some of the presents are from my grandma, but regardless, they all get sent to work.  And apparently, I put some weird presents on my wishlist.

For my bday, I got a cordless drill, new tupperware that isn't crappy, black pearl earrings, and a blue, porcelain coated dutch oven.

YAY FOR DUTCH OVENS!  That are a pretty blue color.  Awesomesauce.

In other news, well, nothing. I'm lame and boring for the most part, and have been avoiding the internets out of a recent love of laze.

But all is well with me, and I heart you all.

My new coworkers are driving me mad.

One of them is a temp for a secretary who is on maternity leave.  The temp is older and constantly asked strange, kinda dumb questions.  Frequently.

And she's gassy.  Really freaking, loudly gassy.  Its just... loud, and frequent, and she doesn't seem to care where she is.  I mean, talking to me, by my desk, walking through the office.  I just....  So I just....  I don't say anything, because I suspect she doesn't have much control.  And because she always has good chocolate on her desk.  Mmm... chocolate.

Oye.

The other annoying one is an airhead receptionist.  She's dumb and needy.  I want her to die. She doesn't seem to remember anything longer than a day.

And I'm ready to cut the deposition service we use.  They make stupid mistakes, but are so widespread that you kind of have to use them.

But all in all, things are good.  Kostya and I are well, and Olga's blood pressure is under control.

Yes I know, my life, its thrilling.

So that's the that.

*poke*

Title:  Five Six Things Spike Stole After He Got a Soul
Author:  vinniebatman
Rating: Um, older teen for cursing and one really terrible innuendo?
Pairing:  Spike/Xander
Warnings: Slash, and I use the word "erection" once.  Oh, and some curse words.  That's about it.
Spoilers: Through season 7 of Buffy and season 5 of Angel.  Oh, and the comics?  Not in my universe.
Summary:  Even after he got a soul, Spike stole things, but these ones were a bit different.  Ended up a bit schmaltzy and angsty, but it's what came out.
Disclaimer:  I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant.  Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*
Beta: The most glorious suki_blue!  I love her....
Prompt: None.  Written for </a></a>fall_for_sx.

( Story here )

Title:  Revenge, Chapter 2
Author:  vinniebatman
Rating: Mature.  So if you don’t like M/M smut, you’ve been warned!
Pairing:  Spike/Xander (mmm… Spander)
Warnings: Dub-con, I guess, but not really.  I mean, it's a dream, so... yeah.  Just FYI.
Summary:  Spike decides to get his revenge on Xander with a plan.
Disclaimer:  I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   Or not.
Author’s Note 1:  Takes place post-chip, sans Anya. 
Beta: My favorite Brit, suki_blue</lj>! 
Previous Chapter Here!

*          *          *
 

( Porny Vengence Lies Here! )